Category Archives: Random

Poetic aerial fireworks warning labels

The warning labels on some aerial fireworks boxes read like poetry. Here are a few of my favorites from this past New Year’s Eve.

Fireworks warning label from Phantom Fireworks' "Bada Bing! Bada Boom!"

Warning

Shoots flaming balls and reports

Carefully read cautions on side panel

Performance label details what to expect from these aerial fireworks

Performance

Panoramic red, green and blue

bursts, accented by sizzling streams

of crackling extending out in all

directions.

Another performance description for aerial fireworks

Performance Description

This 500-gram cake is a giga-gorgeous show of white tails

to white glitter alternating with golden comet tails to golden

glittering willows. The finale is quickened whistling tails to delayed

sparkling and red and green crackling palms. 38 shots.

Cycle 13 of Tyra Banks’ America’s Next Top Model on location in Maui, Hawaii

Tyra Banks chose Maui, Hawaii, as the “exotic” location in the second half of season (or cycle) 13 for “reality” show about becoming America’s Next Top Model. Previous Top Model exotic locations include Australia, Italy, the Netherlands, and Brazil. US destinations include New York and Los Angeles.

Top Model first aired on the CW channel in May 2003. Since then, every season features an airplane ride across an ocean to some faraway destination for the top 5 or so contestants (out of 14). This season, the top 6 were flown to Maui and lodged in a private vacation rental in the resort area of Ka’anapali.

Tyra_Banks_Maui_Hawaii
Tyra Banks shooting model contestant Erin on location near Kahului, Maui. Erin muddles through portraying someone who is "hapa" Tibetan and Egyptian, while "working it" in a hot sugar cane field in Pu'unene near the mill

In episode 9, the remaining 6 contestants squeal almost continually while in Hawaii, even while learning to surf near Lahaina.

Next Top Model cycle 13 surfing in Maui
Nicole of ANTM cycle 13 eats it surfing near Lahaina

After surfing the girls go to a photoshoot, where Tyra and Jay explain the theme: hapa. In Hawaiian, “hapa” means half. Famous people who are hapa include President Barack Obama, who is hapa haole and papolo. Tyra mentions this factoid to the girls. They squeal. So far so good.

But in a bizarre twist, Tyra and Jay assign each of the 6 girls hapa characters to portray in their fashion shoot. This has nothing to do with reality of being hapa. For instance, Erin must portray someone who is Tibetan and Egyptian, but the clothing is costume reinterpreting some historical style. Fashion, it’s not.

Makeup artists paint Erin’s skin and hair dark, and wardrobe people put on a cleoptra-style gown with some kind of funky chunky gold headress. No wonder she’s confused. The other 5 girls suffer a similar fate. Not so much squealing now.

The best thing about this hapa Halloween photo shoot on this “reality” show are the moody Upcountry clouds and the gorgeous magic hour light from Maui’s sunset.