Category Archives: humor

Culture, humor

Maui’s trust fund hippies

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Maui’s social fabric is more like cornrows: people live side-by-side and often have totally separate lives and points of view. Generally this is a good thing. It’s also true that lots of wealthy people live on Maui, some very famous, others more idealistic. There’s one peculiar group of people here that are both wealthy and idealistic. They are called “trust fund hippies,” and here’ a light-hearted poke at what might be the fastest growing group of Maui residents:

10. Live in Hawaii, probably Maui, all or part of the year.

9. Drive a newish car or carry the latest gear through Paia without an obvious source of income (i.e., no day job).

8. Have a guru and know what that means.

7. Have met your guru in person, probably more than once.

6. Drink “Tulsi” tea or at least know what it is.

5. Own or co-op property in Hawaii.

4. Built your own eco-friendly house or live in a yurt.

3. Danced at The Studio.

2. Chant and meditate for world peace in the hot tub.

1. Changed your name to something like Amandeep, but checks from your parents/grandparents/ex are still made out to Tracy.

Culture, humor, maui

Makawao still paniolo country…for dogs

In Makawao, Maui’s historic cowboy (or paniolo) town, it’s 6 pm, the sun is setting and there’s pau hana traffic along two-lane Makawao Avenue. I’m out for a long evening walk with my two dogs, Poky and Mishu. We’ve been frolicking in Eddie Tam park, chasing wild chickens in the rain. I notice the wild-salmon colored clouds begin to turn indigo and decide it’s getting late. We head up to Makawao Avenue to walk the short stretch of sidewalk that will lead us Rodeo General, where I’ll buy butter and bread.

Mishu satisfied on the grass

We’re almost to the HNU housing development, where the sign boasts or warns “only 2 units left”. That was out of 5 since last year. But who’s counting. Looking away from the sign, I notice Mishu, my malamute husky, crouching and slowly inching forward into some lady’s driveway. He’s on his leash and can’t spring. I follow his stare into her grassy, manicured yard where a flock of wild chickens has just landed. Continue reading Makawao still paniolo country…for dogs →

Culture, Health, humor

5 Steps to Release Stress…Maui style

The Deepak Chopra Center publishes monthly an inspirational newsletter called “Agni”. Today’s tome contains “The 5 Keys to Stress Release”, something people in Maui (read: hippies, trust fund hippies or just old-fashioned doubters of authority, depending on the neighborhood) know quite a lot about. Many of us are fans of Deepak. So here’s a Maui-fied version of his article:

The 10-Ton Thought — More like the 10-Ton Bong

(Moving down)

Choices that Relieve Stress — I think it’s called moving to Hawaii or maybe eating more fiber. Anyway, let’s continue.

1. Connect to your body — Very important, almost first thing after 10-ton bong. Donate all heavy winter clothes and show off skin, every day. Seriously consider buying a Brazilian bikini and laser hair removal. Get at least one sarong/pareo. Doubles as drapes, too.

2. Meditate — Easy after emptying the 10-ton bong. No need pay somebody for help you.

3. Understand your unique stress response — Try, understand every single little detail about yourself, your world, your body, your relationships, your astrology, your numerology, your baggage, and why you still get wrinkles even though you spend lots of money at the health food store and cleanse regularly.

4. Practice yoga — With lots of other stinky people living in the jungle. Anywhere is good, even if it’s your rooftop and the neighbors can see your okole. Or better, do the hot kine yoga in Paia during summer. No AC, no deodorant. Da killah wiffahs. But watch out. I’ve seen yoga turn regular kine hippies on the lamb from religion into hairy zealots. It’s ugly.

5. Learn the skills of conscious communication — Whatever that means, but we like to talk while awake or baked or waked-n-baked. Anyway, we still let people make left turns in traffic and wave at strangers.