Category Archives: humor

Recipes for Avocados

It’s avocado month at my house, where the 20-year old tree in my backyard has begun to drop 10 to 20 fruits per day. Judging by the height of the tree and the number of green fruits still hanging, I’m guessing my avocado tree could easily “rain” about 250 pounds of fruit over the next 30 days.

The avocado tree in my backyard, loaded with fruit and starting to drop
The avocado tree in my backyard, loaded with fruit and starting to drop

So I’m undertaking an avocado eating challenge to see how many avocados one person can eat safely. My tally this week: 15 avocados eaten. So far the only side effect I’ve noticed is that certain biologic functions run a lot smoother.

I’m also giving avos away to friends and neighbors, knowing that I can’t possibly eat the whole tree’s worth. But in order to enjoy so many avos that remain and avoid avo burn out, I’ve begun searching for new recipe ideas. Apart from slicing the fruit and adding it to sandwiches, salads, soups and stir-frys, I’m in the process of perfecting my guacamole recipe.

Other recipe suggestions that I’ve received so far include avocado cream pie, avocado ice cream, avo smoothies and if those don’t sound strange enough, avocado hair conditioner.

If you’d like to share your favorite “killer” guac, or any other avocado recipe, I’d love to give it a go.

Fasten your seat belt, across your forehead

Each red eye flight, I hope for a few hours of uninterrupted sleep. My ritual goes like this: I settle (contort) into my cramped coach seat, inflate my lumbar and neck pillows, stuff in ear plugs, pop a pill, lower my eye mask, pull up the flannel blanket and hope to catch a few hours snooze before waking up three time zones ahead. But it never quite works out. Just as I doze off, thunk!, there goes my head, dropping to my chin like a bowling ball from a child’s hand. The ensuing jerk to my spine startles me awake every time.

Half-jokingly I’ve told my travel companions for about the last year that I want to tie my head to the seat, if only to spare my vertebrae the stretch marks. But I’ve never seen anyone do it. But it’s not so crazy; you’re already buckled in at the waist. Why not at the forehead, too?

Any should strap could be used to tie your forehead to the airplane seat
I used this shoulder strap to tether my head to the airplane seat

Continue reading Fasten your seat belt, across your forehead

Man crashes truck into bank in Pukalani, Maui, by stepping on gas instead of brake

Today an older man in a black pick up created his own drive through at the American Savings Bank in Pukalani Shopping Center.

“The lines weren’t really that long and the ATM machine was working. He could have just come inside,” commented a bank employee, who wants to remain anonymous.

After doing his errands, the man hopped into his full-size black Dodge Ram pickup and started the engine. But instead of pressing the brake, he pressed the gas. The Ram rammed into the front of the strip mall bank, knocking out the entire front right wall of the bank. American Savings Bank is next to Subway, which was not impacted by the crash.

No one was injured, probably because the line was actually short. The man and his truck were hauled away. The bank is now closed and will not open again until they can secure the cash with a new wall.